I’m a big believer in the power of developing, cultivating and promoting your personal brand, especially if you’re looking for a new job. You should be, too. This is a favorite brand-building exercise that I share with clients:

I want you to define three adjectives for yourself as to how you want others to describe you when you are out of the room. Be brutally honest! Examples:

• Technical skills – selling, writing, analyzing
• Functional expertise – managing, training, developing
• Human emotion – attentive, compassionate, driven

Once you have your adjectives, write them down on Post-it Notes and stick them all over the place – your computer monitor, bathroom mirror, refrigerator, coffee table, alarm clock, wherever you’ll see it. Don’t just memorize your adjectives, but understand why you chose them in the first place.

Forget about comparing yourself to your best friend or your peers – establish your brand for you. What traits are you most proud of? What do you excel at? What motivates you? How can you package all of that together for a prospective employer?

Don’t start calling into companies and talking with their recruiters until you feel confident with your personal brand. Recruiters aren’t going to let their foot off the gas as you’re talking with them, and they’re going to fire questions at you like:

• Who are you?
• What can you offer our organization?
• Why should I move your resume to the top of the stack?
• I’m busy – why do I need to give you five minutes right now?

By knowing and understanding your personal brand, you’ll be able to call into companies and answer recruiters’ tough questions without skipping a beat.

For those of you who know me well, you know I’m always happy and thinking positive. But what are the benefits of being happy? What can it do for you? Katie Petre, a Customer Care Manager for T2 Communications, has this to say:

You will have the motivation needed to face the work day. Even if they love their jobs, people who are unhappy lack the gusto to get up and go to work every single day, and it can wear them down by Wednesday and sometimes already by Monday. When they are happy, they are more likely to show up everyday even if they don’t like their jobs, ready to get the day started. Happy people are often more optimistic which allows them to focus on the good things about their life, their day and their job. The good things in life are the incentives for them to get up and do what they need to do everyday. If you have to go to work everyday, wouldn’t you rather be happy about it?

You will be more productive and creative. Unhappy people are more sluggish, more distracted and less productive. They are also more likely to get sick. When they are happy, they feel better, have more energy and are able to focus, increasing productivity and creativity. Increased productivity in turn allows for less chance to be overwhelmed with tasks and a better chance to meet deadlines and leave work on time. This will allow more leisure time doing the things you really enjoy. Nobody likes drowning in work, and it is easy to be distracted and unmotivated when you are not happy.

Other people will like you. Happy people are easier to be around and to work with. They smile more and are more positive and uplifting to those around them. Unhappy people bring negativity to work with them, causing negative thoughts and more unhappiness. This is unpleasant for everybody. Happiness, however, can also be contagious, causing those around you to be happier therefore more uplifting and positive for you. The positive effects work for everyone!

There are plenty of self-help books, articles and tips available on the internet to finding happiness. The first step is making the choice to do it. Along the way, you will find more benefits and scientific evidence to support them. If the three reasons listed above are not enough to encourage you to make changes to be happier for yourself then ask some of your friends and coworkers how your mood affects them. If you have a negative impact on those around you, it is time to make some changes.

I’m 32 and only have a few lonely, grey hairs. People think I color my hair, but really, I don’t. While I’m blessed to have really good genes (Dad didn’t start greying ’till his 40s), I attribute most of it to keeping a pretty stress-free life. These are little things that help me:

Give up caring what others think:
Do what’s right for you and feel good about your decision.

Exercise:
Stretch your body and release those endorphins! Living more in your body will deepen your day-to-day experience and greatly increase the quality of your life and your sense of well-being.

Have fun:
Don’t forget how wonderful it feels to laugh. Find enjoyment in whatever you’re doing.

Sense of community:
Let others join in what you’re doing. When we live from the concept of “we’re all in this together,” we live from a shared humanity. This creates a sense of camaraderie and community that buffers us from the stresses of daily life.

Don’t take everything so personally:
Listen to others objectively. It’s not always about you!!

Listen to different perspectives:
This will enlarge YOUR perspective which will lead to greater understanding and an enhanced sense of compassion.

Delight yourself:
Surround yourself with whatever delights you. Surround yourself with beauty, music, motion, colors, sounds. Pamper your senses.

Create space:
Don’t take on projects or responsibilities that don’t connect directly to your values or goals. Create space for things that you want more of in your life by keeping less important things out.

Connections:
Connections are the ties that bind us to each other. Appreciate the connections in your life, and do whatever it takes to deepen them.

Business before play:
Take care of business so that you can relax and play with friends and family. If you don’t take care of business, it will be difficult to give yourself life’s joy.

Unless you’re familiar with some of the rock stars within positive psychology, you probably haven’t heard of Henrick Edberg. His blog, The Positivity Blog, has thousands of visitors a day, and he writes these really amazing and well-crafted articles on self-improvement. I want to share a recent post -

So today I’d like to share 7 of my absolute favorite lessons that I have learned from other people. The lessons I have had most use of and that pop up in my head the most.

1. Andrew Carnegie on paying attention to the more important things:

“As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.”

I have to agree, I pay less and less attention to what people say. Because in the end, what someone does is the most important thing. Talking is easy, but walking your talk is harder. And walking it consistently even though you fall, slip back into old habits and make mistakes is a huge part of success.

Now, talking and discussing what you want to do can be very helpful. But at some point you also follow that up and take action.

And this is not just a good way to see people in a clear way. It’s also a good way to look at yourself more clearly. Because you can tell yourself and others all kinds of things all day. But what you are actually getting done shows a lot about who you are right now and how your future will look.

2. Carl Jung on what others may teach you about yourself:

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

What we see in others is quite often what we see in ourselves. And what irritates us in people may be what we don’t like in ourselves. What you judge in someone you are actually judging in yourself.

Therefore what you notice and what irritates you in others can teach you important things about yourself. Things you may not be aware of. In a way people can be like a mirror for you. A mirror that can help you to learn more about yourself, what you fear and how you may be fooling yourself.

3. Ralph Waldo Emerson on facing your fear:

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.”

This is perhaps my favorite quote about fear. From a distance and in your mind things may seem very difficult and frightening. But when you actually step up and take action I think many of us have been surprised of how the beard of that bully just comes off. Why is that?

Well, you can’t sit around think and waiting for courage and confidence to come knocking on the door. If you do, you may just experience the opposite effect. The more you think, the more fear you build within.

We often build scary monsters in our heads.

Maybe because of things we have learned from the news, the TV or the movies. Or we just think so much about something that our minds start to create totally unlikely horror scenarios of what may happen.

As you may have noticed in your own life, 80-90 percent of what we worry about never really comes into reality. Instead things can become anticlimactic when we take action. The beard of the bully comes off surprisingly easy if we just step up and take action.

And many times we get the courage we need after we have done what we feared. Not the other way around.

4. Wayne Dyer on taking responsibility for your life:

“Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.”

You can look for the next big thing that will fix you. Read more blog articles. Read more personal development books. Look for people to help. And yes, some articles or books or people will give you insights that resonate deeply with you. But in the end, if you are an adult then no one is coming. No one is coming to save you. You have to take responsibility for your own life and what happens in it. Other things and people can certainly aid you quite a bit. But you are responsible.

You can go around blaming society or some people for your problems in your social life or finances or health. You can always find scapegoats to judge to feel better about yourself. For a while. You can look for people that will “fix you”. You can do this for the rest of your life if you like. It won’t change much. Whatever has to be done, it’s you who have to take responsibility and do it.

Yeah, things might always not go your way and you will probably have bad luck from time to time. But you still have to focus on yourself and doing what you can do in whatever situation that may arise in the outside world.

5. Gandhi on being human:

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”

When you start to make myths out of people – even though they may have produced extraordinary results – you run the risk of becoming disconnected from them. You can start to feel like you could never achieve similar things that they did because they are so very different. So it’s important to keep in mind that everyone is just a human being no matter who they are.

And I think it’s important to remember that we are all human and prone to make mistakes. Holding people to unreasonable standards will only create more unnecessary conflicts in your world and negativity within you.

It’s also important to remember this to avoid falling into the pretty useless habit of beating yourself up over mistakes that you have made. And instead be able to see with clarity where you went wrong and what you can learn from your mistake. And then try again.

6. Confucius on understanding:

“I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”

This is very much true in my experience. You cannot understand something by reading about it on a blog or in a book. You may think you understand something. But it’s not until you try it in your own life that you know how it feels and you get the full experience.

That is one of the reasons why it’s crucial that you take action. No matter how many books you read on a topic or how much you discuss it with people you need to add real life experience. It’s also in real life that you learn the quickest, because here you have access to great feedback like failure.

7. Mark Twain on doing what you want to do:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

Awesome quote. And I really don’t have much to add to that one. Well, maybe to write it down and keep it as a daily reminder – on your fridge or bathroom door – of what you can actually do with your life.

If you haven’t heard of Alvin Soon, look him up. He’s a rising personal development coach and an all-around great guy. Alvin maintains a personal blog, 21 Dragons, which I suggest you check out. I want to share a recent entry with you:

More than a few people who’ve seen me speak have been surprised, but I’m an introvert by nature and an extrovert by training. I’ve had to pick up these skills to overcome my awkward social skills, and that’s why I like to share what I’ve found to work, and what I want to learn more about.

Here’s something I’ve found to help me open up conversations, give people a lift and raise my self-esteem at the same time.

How To Give A Good Compliment

There’s nothing like a warm, sincere compliment to make your day. Instead of waiting for one, why not give one out? Take it from me – the more you give, the more you find you’ll receive.

• Make your compliment specific.
  “That necklace looks really good on you” makes a bigger impact compared to “you look really good today.” The more specific the better. It makes the person feel like you notice them.

• Back up your compliment.
  Don’t just stop at “that necklace looks really good on you.” Your compliment becomes stronger when you say WHY you think so – “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes.”

• Ask a question with your compliment.
  And if you want to use it as a conversational starter, ask a question ABOUT the subject of your compliment – “that necklace looks really good on you because it matches your eyes. Where did you find it?”

Why Giving Compliments Raises Your Self-Esteem

It takes confidence and self-esteem to notice good things about others and to make the first caring move to tell them about it.

When I first started giving compliments, I was awkward and shy about it. I kept wondering if I’d offend them in some way or make people suspicious about what I wanted from them.

I’ve since discovered that a sincere compliment is always a welcome boost to someone’s day. There will be those that reject it or will even argue with you, but that’s usually their problem and not yours. A compliment is like a gift – if someone doesn’t want your gift, you’ll still end up owning it. The best way to accept one is also like a gift; just say “thank you.”

You’ll also find when you start noticing good things about people, you’ll notice more good things about you, too! And the more you do, the more your own self-esteem will grow.

Do you spend a lot of time in front of the computer or television? Feeling low on energy and stressed out? Try this – next time you’re watching television, get up and stretch during commercials or every half hour. Even better, get up and do some aerobic exercise, even for 30 seconds. Do some jumping jacks. Dance. Push-ups. Skip rope. Anything to get your heart pumping and blood circulating.

Also – open windows and doors for some natural air.  Air conditioning can feel great, but it’s important to at least daily open your front door to bring in fresh energy.

ENERGIZE!!

College graduation is nearly upon us once again, and many seniors are petrified by the still-struggling job market.  Kristen Fischer, author of Ramen, Rent, Resumes, has these tips for members of the Class of 2010 and members of the Class of 2011 who are wisely planning ahead:

Think about what you want to do.

Put some thought into the direction you want to take. After all, you may not want to enter the field you just spent four years studying.

Start your resume.

While you are on campus and have the resources, get tips for writing a resume. Compiling a resume is often overwhelming for soon-to-be grads because they feel like there’s nothing to fill up an entire page, but if you really assess your skill set and look at the latest resume-writing trends, you can come up with a powerful document.

Start looking for a job—yesterday.

Even thinking about what you want to do and where you want to live—and arranging for those things—is smart planning. Start browsing websites, setting up accounts on sites like LinkedIn and Monster.com.

Practice interviewing.

If you aced your public speaking class and excel at debates, start developing answers to common interview questions and practice a mock interview with a friend.

Enjoy your last days in college.

Spend extra time with friends, sleep in, stay out late, hit up a crazy party, or enjoy campus activities. Look to the future as a professional but don’t forget to enjoy your college days.

Great advice! Thanks, Kristen!!